The second I typed that title, I started hearing Carly Simon in my head singing, “Anticipayaytiiiooonnn”. Then I had to go look up the lyrics so I can hear more than just that couple of chords. It turns out the first verse is kind of emo(ish) but nice. I won’t call it deep, but it has more potential than Bruno Marz for example:
We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway, yay
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
Or just chasin’ after some finer day
But I digress. On to the good stuff!
Violet’s paperwork came! Happy New Years to us! We’ve all been sick here at Casa Starchenko, so it a huge boon to hear the news especially after being sick for a while. A million people have asked me what’s next, but honestly, I have no idea. I know they did something with the paperwork at the agency, and that we’ll get it in the mail sometime this week, and that I have to send part of it back to Poland, I think. But I can’t really say for sure that’s the case. I know I have to send things places. I’m sure I’ll find out where soon.
Anyways, in the mean time, in between sickness and coughing, we’ve taken all the guest bedroom furniture out of Violets room and we’ve put in her new crib, and set up the little table and chairs we bought for her. And I hung part of her curtains. We are in possession of paint, and we even pained the wall a little and then realized that the paint is going on in this almost purple looking hue, when it’s supposed to be grey. We’re not super happy about this development, but we’ll regroup. The same thing happened with Lev’s room before he came. We just got a new color and lived our lives. Same here. I’ve also got some wall art going, which I’ll post pictures of soon.
With each of our kids, getting ready for them has been a huge bonding experience for me. As I put together Violet’s room I’ve been thinking about her joining our family and I can imagine her sleeping in her crib, and playing with her toys, and wearing the ridiculous amounts of clothes she has (NOTE: we don’t need anymore clothes. Send diapers instead- size 4!). And as we prep, I keep thinking about that verse in John where Jesus tells the disciple that he’s going to prepare a place for them. It’s still fleshing itself out for me as I think about it, but I’ve found myself wondering (and mostly arriving at the conclusion that it’s so) if the Lord anticipates us being with him in heaven like we’re anticipating Violets arrival to our family. I know he’s not waiting around in some US centered style, like we’re the ones that decide when we go to heaven. I mean it in the sense that bringing us to heaven is more of a making right what he established in the first place when he created us and the world, kind of in the “All things made new” sense that I read about in the New Testament. That if sin seperated us from the closeness we were meant to have with him, then maybe our arrival in heaven is something he anticipates. I don’t know. I overthink things a lot. This might be one such case and I can see myself getting WAY lost in that train of thought and not in a good way. Either way, we’re anticipating Violet’s arrival and we can’t wait to go get her.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I’m slightly nervous. I’m not afraid of the usual adoption things because they either arent’ actual issues at play in this adoption or becuase this is our second adoption and I know basically how it will play out. I’m mostly nervous about the unknowns: what it will be like those first few days with her, if there’s going to be a lot of crying, and how the one week Alex won’t be there will go for me. We’re talking to people about coming to stay for a week, but so far, it’s kind of a no go. I might be soloing in Poland by myself, while Alex goes to see his brothers. And that will be ok as well. my main job is to go one day, sometimes one hour at a time, and care well for all of us and it will all turn out ok for all of us.