I am not losing my mind. I promise.

The last few weeks of the adoption have seen action. And while I’d love to say that we’re merely limping across the finish line, we’re not. We’re still going strong and in good spirits despite all that you’ll read about below. Nothing about our adoption or Violet has changed. We’re still glad we’re doing this becuase that little girl is totally worth it.

I should say that this is actually kind of funny to me. I can’t think of another family any of this would happen to except us. All of things you are about to read are real, and names have not been changed to protect the innocent. Our lives really are this ridiculous. I’m laughing to myself as I write this. “Smooth” is not a word that describes adoption. Eliminate that word from your adoption verbiage.

about 8 weeks ago, the agency says to me, “Hey, we think you should get your USCIS fingerprints done to extend your approval so we dont run into problems at the embassy. Sure, I say, no problem. So I send the email, get the date.

But in the meantime, the polish clerk of court has rejected my physical because someone, probably me, wrote my married name not my legal name that’s in my passport on the form (why I never changed my name after getting married is a long story involving eastern european politics, the USCIS, and the fall of communism. True story.). “Can you go to the dr’s office and have it changed?” Sure, I say, no problem.

Are we seeing a pattern yet?

But it is a problem. Becuase the Dr. doesn’t want to do it. Something about legal ramifications. So i make an appointment, gather my adoption box, a picture of violet, and go in there the next day and tell my sad tale. Alex comes with me, ready to intimidate with his (not really very) scary Russian accent. The agency is on hold on my phone, ready to fight with me, but miraculously, it all works out. He just whites out my name, writes it correctly, writes a short note just in case, charges me the copay and sends me on my way.

I could have done that myself for free. But whatever. I’m moving on. The high road and all that.

Are you still tracking with me? Let’s go skip forward, back to the fingerprints. We showed up last Thursday at the USCIS. Lev objects as usual to being wanded at the USCIS (we’re libertarians, against such things. He learned it mostly from me, that pesky protest of a perceived invasion of privacy). Fortunately, everyone thought it was cute. Then I had to sit under a photo of the current president, which I didn’t really appreciate, becuase again, I’m mostly a libertarian and we’re against big government and so on). And then, when they start scanning my fingers, there’s a lot of beeping, and they say,”You might be missing parts of your fingerprints. It’s called effacing.”

Naturally, I get an email 2 days later, from Gretchen, Violets USCIS caseworker. She’s actually super cool. “Your prints are unclassifiable”, she says. “I’m sending a new appt. You can just try to walk in an see what they say, but if theyre rejected again, you’ll need to get a letter from your local police station.” I”m glad she told me this. She’s the nicest immigration person I’ve encountered in 12 years of slumming it at USCIS. I’d totally be her friend in real life.

THese last few weeks have been annoying. It’s enough to make me take up smoking and sit on the couch with a whiskey on the rocks and say “WHATEVERRRRRRRRRR”. Except that I’ve never had whiskey, or smoked. And now I understand why some people do. That’s all I’m saying.


THe orpahange sent us new pictures of violet. She’s adorable as always. She’s also starting to walk and eat solid food. Double awesome. I can’t wait to get back to her. Those pictures are keeping me going. I put them in my drop box so I can look at them on my phone tablet or computer anytime I want, and I look at them a ton and pray for her and for us, and for miraculous healing of my fingerprints.

We’re still going to get her and bring her home. We’re going SOON. I’m in mostly good spirits.

Rumor has it that we’re getting a letter from the Polish court on Friday, which means in eastern european time that it will show up sometime 2 weeks after that. Or it could just show up on friday, right on schedule. It’s all kind of a crap shoot. Its also not helpful that Pope JOhn Paul II is being canonized soon and everyone in Poland is all excited about it. I hope they all remember that both Pope Francis and JOhn Paul would tell them that giving orphans parents is more important that being canonized. I genuinely think they were both cool enough to at least care that an orphan is missing out her family because of them. I don’t know.

or maybe I could just write to Pope Francis. He probably wouldn’t reply because we’re not catholic. But he might if I wrote in Spanish. La Raza and all that. Sort of.

Whatever. It is what is. I tell myself that everyday. I also tell myself that the Lord wrote this story. None of this is shocking Him. But I’m very thankful the Lord has allowed me to remain mostly calm with a minimal amount of tears and negativity and whining. THe Lord is good to us and faithful to keep us going and bringing us updates on Violet just when I want and need them.

Also, I should say that I’m not mad at the agency. None of this is their fault. They are very organzied and efficient, and  they’ve been very supportive and very nice when I call. I’ve found that being super nice and understanding gets more info than if I was grumbly.  I’m really glad that we used them for our adoption, and would totally use them again if we do a 3rd adoption. After a long break from paperwork of any sort, that is.

We’ll keep updating as we know more. THe end is NEAR!






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