Mindless Worrying

I’ve reached that moment where I spend time praying for our family, obsessively trying not to worry about the strange things that pop into my head, and then pray again. It’s a cycle. I’d say it’s a vicious cycle but its not. It’s just what I do. And I totally get it from my mom (Sorry, mom. I outed you on the interwebs. Love you!)

Anyways, sometime I write down the things that worry me. And then they don’t worry me anymore (mostly).  So in no particular order, here are the things that worry me. Some are really really dumb.

1. I’m really hoping that Lev wont sit on any of the kids at the orphanage the first week we are there. He loves kids and playrooms, and then he gets all excited like he does at soccer, and then he’ll sit on some poor little kid. It’s not a mean thing, it’s just a thing he does sometimes out of excitement. And I don’t want him to do it at the orphanage. I. Will. Die.

2. I’m afraid that we’ll miss one of our flights.

3. I’m worried that Violet will cry a lot. Lev never really cries, and crying actually makes me crazy, so… yeah. I worry about crying.

4. I’m afraid LadyJudge is just going to have a lot of mean fun with us at the court date: “Haha American people! You think waiting almost a year was fun??? Just wait… Hehehe.” I imagine she’s doing some sort of Mr. Burns hand thing and evil laughing just thinking about it.

4b. Alex is concerned the judge will ask him questions about his political opinions of Putin, Lukashenko, and Ukraine and generally be against all Russian people. He’s been thinking through a nice way to say, “Putin is a war criminal and abuser of human rights and should go to jail.” But he hasn’t ruled out just being blunt and saying that.

4c. I’m worried the judge won’t like that we’re protestant.

5. Let’s be honest. I’m just worried about the judge.

6. I’m worried Violet hasn’t started talking.

7. I’m slightly concerned that Lev have a hard time adjusting to the reality of  a sister. He’s very excited about it right now, but the moment she comes stomping through his tinker toys is an entirely different thing.

8. I’m afraid that people will stop us at the airport on the way out and ask us why we’re carting off one of their own.

9. I’m a little concerned that I only have 8 days to get halloween costumes ready when we get home. Halloween is FUN at our house, and we love working on DIY costumes in October together. Lev is insisting we all participate this year as various characters of Curious George. HOW AM I SUPPOSED COME UP WITH A YELLOW HAT IN A WEEK, PEOPLE???  Lev and Violet might have to be an Iphone and a Nexus Tablet or something. Last year, Lev was box of Kleenex, and he loved it. I’m sure it will all be ok.


Now some people will argue that Lev is squinting his eyes closed to avoid the truth that he was a box of Kleenex for Halloween. But I maintain that this is the face of excitement, folks. He loves Halloween.

10. I worry about Alex going to Belarus to visit his family after the court date. I made him promise to call me every morning so I know he wasn’t carted off to jail in the middle of the night, and again in the evening to tell me what he did during the day. He promised me he’d get his brothers shady friends to smuggle him back if they try to keep him. But still.

10b. I’m sad we can’t all go to Belarus. My sister in law’s mother does this thing with yellow bell peppers, sunflower oil and sugar, and it makes me sit down and eat half the jar in one sitting.

11. I’m afraid I’ll get lost in Warsaw. In the city Violet lives in, it’s impossible because if you get separated, you just go to the cathedral and sit outside the chamber with the Madonna until the other party shows up (that’s what we agreed on one afternoon anyway). Warsaw is HUGE. I could be lost for days there.  Days. And I have a bad habit of making the bathroom guardians angry and getting on the wrong bus in Warsaw. Things happen to me there.


There’s more, and some of them are more serious than others, but this is a small portion of the things that run through my brain at any given moment.  I know that when we roll into the hotel, I’ll just be excited. But at the moment while I’m cleaning and packing, I’m also obsessing. I was like this before our first trip and I’ll be fine when we get there.


16 days to departure! <– i need to get off the computer and get cracking!


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